These silly photos of my girls have nothing to do with this post. But they were just too cute not to share. ;)
It seems everywhere I turn, things are changing. Some days my head is swimming, trying to stay afloat as wave after wave tosses me around. Other days I feel like I'm sitting on a beach somewhere, a fruity drink in my hand, the sun on my face. Today is a beach day. Yesterday was a drowning-in-the-ocean day. Even my moods are changing from one minute to the next.
This little blog is also experiencing change. I love the name "My Sacred Sojurn"...and I love to write, to sit down with my journal in hand and pour out my heart on the page. But the minute I try to narrow it down, make it marketable, make sure I have photos to pin, the second I start thinking about SEO and sponsors...that's when it all starts going downhill for me. That's when it begins to feel very contrived and fake. I have felt like I'm wearing a mask, not fully revealing my heart. (If you actively market your blog, please understand that I am NOT saying YOU are fake...it's just a struggle I have in my own heart.)
I was looking back through my journal from last year and read these words:
You cannot live in contradiction to your soul and live a joyful life. What is contradiction to your soul may not be to anyone else's and that's okay.
I read that and realized that trying to pigeon-hole myself into some sort of marketable package was living in contradiction to my soul. It just doesn't work for me, it doesn't feel right. So I'm changing the way I do things here. I want to write. I want to share my heart with the world (even at the risk of it being trampled.) But I want to do it on my terms, not based on the rules someone created about how to run a profitable blog (because ultimately, that's not my goal.)
I'm being brave. I'm taking the risk that no one will read and it won't matter at all that I spend time sharing my heart. But no matter what, I have to stop living in contradiction to my own soul. This place is about my journey, as wild and varied as it is, all of it, not just one slice of it. If you stick around, you can expect to hear about my family, yes; but also my walk with the Lord, my art journaling, the new life we're going to lead in Kansas City and more. I'm tossing the "rules" and the mask out the window and embracing my authentic self. I hope you'll come along for the trip.